zarathustra

There’s only so much that can be achieved by eating properly, and my problem in recent years has been my lack of enthusiasm for exercise. I hoop frequently and skip when the weather permits, but yesterday I came across a new gym opening in the centre of Manchester called Pure Gym. It won’t be open until October but I’ve already signed up. It’s £9.99 a month, no contract, and it will be open 24 hours, 7 days a week - how convenient is that!? I only live 10 minutes away from the city centre so it’s a moderate walk from my house, and the free city bus stops right outside the door, enabling me to get there with ease from uni! I’ve not come across any other gym in the city that’s as affordable as this one (Bannatyne’s is around the corner from Pure Gym, and costs a small fortune). I’ve never been a gym bunny but now I’m really, really looking forward to going! I showed my boyfriend the website and he’s even signed up as well =D

There’s only a few more weeks left until the start of my final year at MMU, and I can’t wait to get back to the aquatics centre then hit the gym (oh, and study of course…!)

Compared to last week I feel a thousand times better now. I had a hellish couple of weeks and even broke down in work the other day because some customer started swearing at me and name-calling, and I felt prepared to leave. But I feel so much more optimistic. And it helps to write these blogs because I know there are thousands of people I can relate to. That in itself provides great comfort and is immensely supportive. 

So thank you to everyone who reads my blog, especially those who leave motivating, encouraging comments xxxxx

The last couple of weeks have been fairly horrible. Work has been very, very stressful. It all began with a pay dispute that caused me to lose sleep for two days (and comfort eat into oblivion…) but thankfully the mess has been sorted and I don’t owe anyone a three-figure sum of money - as if I had any spare. With that sorted, I had to organise a new sales plan, which I’d never done before on my own as I’ve only been there six months, so a job that should have taken several hours has taken several days - and again, caused me to lose sleep purely out of worry. If a task is left unfinished it drives me totally mad, and on this occasion it interrupted my dreams and even made me wake up in the middle of the night worrying about the stockroom. On Monday I really pushed myself to get the bulk of it done, and I’ve almost succeeded, just a few loose ends to tie up now I think. But today is Wednesday. And there’s another sales plan, though this time round it’s much more straightforward, so I’m nowhere near as worried and I’m feeling quite optimistic - I should be able to get it done within a couple of hours. And if I can declare everything complete by eight o’clock tonight, I can finally put my feet up, relax, and enjoy the evening visiting my mum. I don’t think I’ve managed to switch my brain off for the past fortnight, and I’m exhausted.

Crucially, I need to get back to my 1300 allowance. Anxiety sends my appetite into overdrive. I wish was one of those worriers who lost all desire to eat, at least then my hard work wouldn’t be undone. There’s no point dwelling on all the chocolate and junk food I’ve scoffed over the past two weeks because it’s in the past and there’s nothing I can do about it. I just have to forgive myself and move forward. I sat down with my boyfriend last night to talk about this, and we’ve decided to devise a weekly menu. Two days fish, two days white meat, two days salad, one day read meat, and on weekends he’s offered to get up early with me so he can prepare breakfast while I get ready (which I thought was incredibly sweet of him). My biggest problem is lunches at work though. They discontinued my favourite prawn and noodle salad (which had less than 290 calories, and tasted fabulous) and keep stocking creamy pasta stuff, which I don’t like much anyway. I don’t like water - I can tolerate tap, but it’s not refreshing - so I always choose some kind of juice, usually Ribena, but it’s full of calories. Ok, I could go for the light version but the taste of aspartame is overpowering and it makes me feel sick. I know, this sounds like excuse after excuse. So from now on I’m going to take a can of soup (or canned fish), a piece of fruit and my own drink with me to work. It’ll save me money and excess calories.

 Long story short: it’s time to get back on track! 

A few months ago I downloaded a free music streaming service called Spotify and compiled a playlist full of upbeat, energetic tracks to raise my motivation before and during a workout. If you’re thinking about doing something similar, here are some of the tracks I’ve chosen and highly recommend:

Green Light (Freemasons remix) - Beyonce
Fergalicious - Fergie
Lose Control - Missy Elliot
Wind it Up - Gwen Stefani
Yummy - Gwen Stefani
What Are You Waiting For? - Gwen Stefani <— belt out the lyrics as you get moving, they’re so feel-good!
Scream - Michael Jackson 
Fix Up, Look Sharp - Dizzee Rascal
When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls
Work - Ciara
Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) - Beyonce
Party People - Nelly
Spitfire - Prodigy <— an absolute must to sweat out stress and frustration! 
Aerodynamic - Daft Punk
Robot Rock - Daft Punk
Faster Kill Pussycat - Paul Oakenfold
Try Again - Aaliyah <— a song to remind you to never give up
Jump! - Girls Aloud
Burn, Burn - Lostprophets
Fascination - Alphabeat

What playlist would be complete without a golden oldie? Here’s mine…

Get Up Offa That Thing - James Brown <— The Ali Dee remix is available on Spotify and delivers a bit of extra clout to really get you shimmying around the living room ^_~

*Phew!*

 Manic couple of weeks. Spent a week in Nottingham for my training at Boots head office, so now I’m an official beauty consultant! Soon I’ll get my uniform and then I can look the part

 While I was away I didn’t massively over indulge; I had healthy breakfasts and I was quite good at lunch, but couldn’t resist a pud after dinner (it was paid for - wasn’t going to let it go to waste!), but since I’ve been back I’ve been very naughty =x

2 McDonalds, fish & chips, Millie’s cookies, fizzy drinks, chocolate… the lot. And I’ve somehow I’ve still lost a bit of weight! I think my pill might have a bit to do with it. But I’m definitely not going to carry on with junk because it’s bound to bite back, so it’s time to forgive and forget and get back on track with 1300 a day.

But here’s to a good result!

One of my friends has introduced me to a brilliant website called Graze.com, which sends you a box filled with healthy snacks for you to graze on throughout the day to promote stable blood sugar levels. I thought the idea of a company sending me fruit and nuts through the post was a bit loony at first, but when I started thinking about it I realised what a good idea it was. I often find myself craving sugary snacks when I’m bored or fed up, and after scoffing a chocolate bar I feel worse than I did before. I could quite easily buy a selection of healthy snacks and dish out a portion at my leisure, but it doesn’t take much for me to expand my portions beyond their recommended sizes. Instead, all Graze.com boxes are divided into 3 portions: large, medium and small, and each is filled with a different food (fruit & nuts, nut mixes, seed mixes, yogurt coated fruit, even olives!) - and, to take away the temptation of having a bit more than is really necessary, the most indulgent foods (such as the chocolate coated fruit) are restricted to a small portion. There’s far too much for me to explain; it’s all condensed on the website itself so do make sure to check it out! 

 So, if you think it’s something you might be interested in trying, visit the website and be sure to enter the following promotional code to receive the first box FREE and the second one half price (the full price is just £2.99 including postage!): DZPWZMDH

I’ve done a bit of skipping today! But I’ll tell you this: it’s a damn sight harder now than it was when I was 7! I could only manage a couple of minutes before nearly throwing up but my heart was racing. I can’t go back outside in the heat, I’d probably collapse, but I’ll do some hooping and try a bit of skipping this evening when (hopefully) it cools down. Woohoo!

Typical!! Mere days after I sign up for BuddySlim, my house was broken into and my laptop stolen. Brilliant. Utterly brilliant. However, internet deprivation has not been my excuse for Cherry Coke and Krispy Kremes. Knowing that someone made the effort to [successfully] violate my privacy and make off with my stuff is both immensely frustrating and upsetting. There was nothing important on my laptop, but it was my laptop. Either way, I responded to such an event by pigging out. And I feel disgusting. I’m at the point where I feel uncomfortable in my own skin and my clothes serve no purpose except to camouflage rolls of fat.

I hate being the size I am because everyone at work is slimmer than me, so I feel like the porker of the lot. The same goes for uni, and I’d love to slim down even if it’s just to make my rival jealous. It’s very petty and childish but she’s a snotty cow who has always been rude to me.

 Well, there’s nothing I can do about thieves. I’ve told the police everything I know, SOCO have searched the house twice for fingerprints (although it transpires the offenders wore gloves), and local CCTV is being scanned for clues. I’ll be applying anti-climb paint and barbed wire to the fence, installing a security light and installing tracking devices on all future laptops. What else can I do? And is there any point in beating myself up about it with food? No. Self sabotage isn’t going to get me anywhere.

 On a lighter note, I passed the second year of uni

A mode I’m permanently stuck in. I’ve got a hula hoop I rarely use, though I love it when I get going, and a skipping rope I bought for a tenner on Amazon and have never ventured outside with. I’ve got exercise DVDs and diet books, all kinds of weight loss websites stacked up in my browser history, and yesterday I didn’t say no to a Big Mac. With my finances I am focused and disciplined. For weeks I tortured myself with a Louis Vuitton purse and almost parted way with £435 just to own one (ridiculous, I know), but told myself ‘no’. And I feel better for it. I’m frequently told I should treat myself more often, but I’d rather go without a new pair of shoes than a roof over my head. Rent and bills take priority. Why can’t I be that responsible with my health instead of scoffing burgers and cake? The majority of my weight rests on my waist, and from everything I’ve read us ‘apple shaped’ people are more at risk of heart problems. Why doesn’t that motivate me?

 Hmm.

 I think today I’ll make a conscious effort to do something.